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The 10 Habits of Remarkably Charismatic People

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Some people instantly make us feel important. Some people instantly make us feel special. Some people light up a room just by walking in.

We can't always define it, but some people have it: They're naturally charismatic.

Unfortunately, natural charisma quickly loses its impact. Familiarity breeds, well, familiarity.

But some people are remarkably charismatic: They build and maintain great relationships, consistently influence (in a good way) the people around them, consistently make people feel better about themselves--they're the kind of people everyone wants to be around...and wants to be.

Fortunately we can, because being remarkably charismatic isn't about our level of success or our presentation skills or how we dress or the image we project--it's about what we do.

Here are the 10 habits of remarkably charismatic people:

1. They listen way more than they talk.

Ask questions. Maintain eye contact. Smile. Frown. Nod. Respond--not so much verbally, but nonverbally.

That's all it takes to show the other person they're important.

Then when you do speak, don't offer advice unless you're asked. Listening shows you care a lot more than offering advice, because when you offer advice in most cases you make the conversation about you, not them.

Don't believe me? Who is "Here's what I would do..." about: you or the other person?

Only speak when you have something important to say--and always define important as what matters to the other person, not to you.

2. They don't practice selective hearing.

Some people--I guarantee you know people like this--are incapable of hearing anything said by the people they feel are somehow beneath them.

Sure, you speak to them, but that particular falling tree doesn't make a sound in the forest, because there's no one actually listening.

Remarkably charismatic people listen closely to everyone, and they make all of us, regardless of our position or social status or "level," feel like we have something in common with them.

Because we do: We're all people.

3. They put their stuff away.

Don't check your phone. Don't glance at your monitor. Don't focus on anything else, even for a moment.

You can never connect with others if you're busy connecting with your stuff, too.

Give the gift of your full attention. That's a gift few people give. That gift alone will make others want to be around you and remember you.

4. They give before they receive--and often they never receive.

Never think about what you can get. Focus on what you can provide. Giving is the only way to establish a real connection and relationship.

Focus, even in part and even for a moment, on what you can get out of the other person, and you show that the only person who really matters is you.

5. They don't act self-important…

The only people who are impressed by your stuffy, pretentious, self-important self are other stuffy, pretentious, self-important people.

The rest of us aren't impressed. We're irritated, put off, and uncomfortable.

And we hate when you walk in the room.

6. …Because they realize other people are more important.

You already know what you know. You know your opinions. You know your perspectives and points of view.

That stuff isn't important, because it's already yours. You can't learn anything from yourself.

But you don't know what other people know, and everyone, no matter who they are, knows things you don't know.

That makes them a lot more important than you--because they're people you can learn from.

7. They shine the spotlight on others.

No one receives enough praise. No one. Tell people what they did well.

Wait, you say you don't know what they did well?

Shame on you--it's your job to know. It's your job to find out ahead of time.

Not only will people appreciate your praise, they'll appreciate the fact you care enough to pay attention to what they're doing.

Then they'll feel a little more accomplished and a lot more important.

8. They choose their words.

The words you use impact the attitude of others.

For example, you don't have to go to a meeting; you get to go meet with other people. You don't have to create a presentation for a new client; you get to share cool stuff with other people. You don't have to go to the gym; you get to work out and improve your health and fitness.

We all want to associate with happy, enthusiastic, fulfilled people. The words you choose can help other people feel better about themselves--and make you feel better about yourself, too.

9. They don't discuss the failings of others...

Granted, we all like hearing a little gossip. We all like hearing a little dirt.

The problem is, we don't necessarily like--and we definitely don't respect--the people who dish that dirt.

Don't laugh at other people. When you do, the people around you wonder if you sometimes laugh at them.

10. ...But they readily admit their failings.

Incredibly successful people are often assumed to have charisma simply because they're successful. Their success seems to create a halo effect, almost like a glow.

The keyword is seem.

You don't have to be incredibly successful to be remarkably charismatic. Scratch the shiny surface, and many successful people have all the charisma of a rock.

But you do have to be incredibly genuine to be remarkably charismatic.

Be humble. Share your screwups. Admit your mistakes. Be the cautionary tale. And laugh at yourself.

While you should never laugh at other people, you should always laugh at yourself.

People won't laugh at you. People will laugh laugh with you.

They'll like you better for it--and they'll want to be around you a lot more.

My Favorite Illness

Abu Hurayrah – may Allah be pleased with him – said: 

"There is no illness that afflicts me more beloved to me than fever: it enters every part of me and [because of it] Allah the Mighty and Sublime gives every part of me its share of reward."

Shaykh Al-Albaani’s Saheeh Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1/198.

Ilham Dan Kasyaf Dalam Islam

Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem

Kasyaf kepada wali Allah ini ada banyak bahagiannya, seperti berikut:

1) Kasyaf Mata

Mata dapat melihat alam mawara-ul-maddah atau disebut sebagai alam yang seni-seni atau boleh disebutkan sebagai alam di luar kebendaan. Di sini, mata dapat melihat perkara-perkara ghaib seperti malaikat, jin dan syaitan. Kasyaf inilah yang menjadikan orang seperti Sayyidina Umar r.a nampak apa yang sedang berlaku pada tentera-tenteranya. Karamah seperti ini penting kerana dapat menyelamatkan seluruh tentera Islam.

2) Kasyaf Telinga

Kasyaf telinga disebut juga hatif. Telinga boleh mendengar benda-benda yang ghaib. Mendengar suara tetapi tidak nampak lembaganya sama ada dari jin Islam yang soleh, malaikat atau waliullah. Suara itu adakalanya membawa berita gembira, adakalanya berita yang negatif. Tujuannya ialah Allah hendak menghiburkan orang yang mendapatnya. Kalau berita itu berita gembira, boleh menggembirakannya. Sebaliknya, kalau berita itu berita duka, juga akan menggembirakannya kerana dia tahu terlebih dahulu, sekurang-kurangnya dia boleh bersiap menghadapi ujian itu. Atau dia boleh mengelak daripada bahaya itu.

3) Kasyaf Mulut

Tuhan beri kepada orang itu, lidahnya ‘masin’ seperti doanya kabul atau apa yang dia sebut terjadi sama ada jangka pendek atau jangka panjang. Juga, di mana saja dia memberi kuliah, nasihat, tunjuk ajar, berdakwah dan sebagainya, ianya mudah diterima masyarakat dan boleh mengubah hati mereka. Akhirnya berubahlah sikap masyarakat. Karamah seperti ini biasanya dikurniakan kepada pemimpin.

4) Kasyaf Akal

Mendapat ilmu yang seni-seni yang Allah SWT kurniakan pada seseorang terus jatuh ke hatinya. Ini terjadi tanpa dia belajar, tanpa membaca, tanpa mentelaah dan tanpa berguru. Dinamakan juga ilham atau ilmu laduni. Agar tidak terkeliru, perlu diingat orang yang hendak dapat ilmu laduni itu, dia mestilah dahulu ada ilmu asas iaitu ilmu fardhu ain.

5) Kasyaf Hati

Dinamakan juga firasat. Inilah kasyaf yang tertinggi daripada kasyaf-kasyaf yang disebutkan tadi. Biasanya dikurniakan kepada pemimpin . Itupun tidak banyak kerana Allah SWT kurniakan hanya kepada pemimpin-pemimpin yang sangat soleh, yang sangat sabar menanggung ujian yang begitu berat ditimpakan kepada mereka. Kasyaf hati ialah rasa hati atau gerakan hati yang tepat lagi benar. Dia boleh menyuluh mazmumah yang seni-seni yang kadang-kadang kita membaca kitab tak mengerti. Termasuk juga adalah rasa hati dapat membaca diri seseorang.

Nabi pernah bersabda, “Hendaklah kamu takuti firasat orang mukmin kerana dia melihat dengan pandangan Allah”.

Apa yang dimaksudkan dengan firasat itu ialah kasyaf hati. Orang yang mendapatnya dapat memimpin diri dan dapat memimpin orang lain. Kalau tidak, seorang itu tidak layak jadi pemimpin. Kalau dia terus memimpin rosaknya lebih banyak daripada kebaikan.

Pengetahuan mengenai gerak geri manusia, cara, sikap, perangai baik dan buruk, ucapan serta akhlak seseorang. Firasat ini diperoleh disebabkan nur yang dilemparkan oleh Allah SWT ke dalam hati orang beriman. Kuatnya firasat ini bergantung pada kuatnya keimanan. 

Allah SWT memberikannya kepada para wali-walinya yang terpilih dan juga sebagai bekal dakwah untuk menyampaikan mesej yang paling sesuai kepada mereka yang akan mendengar. Firasat ini tidak boleh diingkari sebagaimana firman Allah yang lalu pada surah Al-Hijr ayat 75. maksudnya:

"Sesungguhnya pada yang demikian itu benar-benar terdapat tanda-tanda (kekuasaan Allah) bagi orang yang memperhatikan tanda-tanda."      

  

Riwayat daripada Anas bin Malik: Satu hari Anas pergi bertemu Sayidina Usman tetapi sebelumnya beliau pergi ke pasar dan ternampak seorang wanita. Apabila Anas masuk bertemu Sayidina Usman lalu sayidina Usman berkata: “Salah sorang daripada kamu masuk bertemu ku tetapi di matanya terdapat kesan zina”.  Lalu Anas berkata: Apakah masih ada wahyu selepas Baginda? Jawab Sayidina Usman: Tidak, tetapi ini adalah firasat dan petunjuk.

Berkata Ibn Abbas: Tidak ada seorang pun yang bertanya kepada aku kecuali aku mengetahui sama ada dia seorang faqih (berilmu) atau tidak.

Keramah yang Allah SWT kurniakan kepada Tok Kenali : Suatu hari Tok Kenali terdengar orang ramai riuh rendah bersorak di Kampung Pulau Bunut (Kelantan) kerana meraikan kemenangan dalam laga lembu. Beliau menegur situasi itu dengan menyatakan," gamaknya mereka bersorak menolong rumah terbakar.

Ditakdirkan Allah, malam itu unggun api yang dipasang pemilik lembu jantan yang menang dalam temasya itu untuk mengasapkan nyamuk, merebak memusnahkan rumahnya menyebabkan dia tinggal sehelai sepinggang. Peristiwa terbabit menyebabkan penduduk Kampung Pulau Bunut dan sekitarnya meninggalkan perbuatan berlaga lembu yang berdosa dan tiada perikemanusiaan itu.

Firasat hanya akan diperoleh oleh orang-orang beriman. Berkata Abu Syuja’ al-Karmani :

"Untuk mendapat firasat ini : Sesiapa yang menjaga matanya daripada yang haram,  menjaga dirinya daripada mengikut syahwat, sentiasa menghidupkan batin dengan muraqabah kepada Allah dan tidak akan makan kecuali yang halal, maka firasatnya tidak akan tersilap."

Sahabat yang dikasihi, 

Demikianlah huraian mengenai kasyaf yang di ambil daripada hadis Nabi SAW dan kisah sahabat dan para wali Allah menjadi panduan kita semua sekiranya akan berlaku perkara-perkara luar biasa dimasa akan datang. Kita janganlah mudah terpengaruh sekiranya seseorang mendakwa bahawa dia kasyaf sedangkan peribadinya bukan seorang yang berakhlak Islam dan ianya bertentangan pula dengan al-Quran dan as-Sunnah. Kita hanya ambil dua sumber yang jelas iaitu al-Quran dan as-Sunnah , insya Allah kita tidak akan sesat selama-lamanya.

Sumber: http://abubasyer.blogspot.com/