Before I went to South Africa for my Islamic studies, I was studying in one of the boarding highschools in Shah Alam. Like any other highschool student, I also have my own past, my own memories..some are sweet and some aren't and I still quite remember every little thing I did in that school.
When I was in Form 1, I can say that I was quite innocent. Well, most of us were. Coz we were only 13 at that time. I enjoyed everyday's life there, friends, studies, sports, competitions, club activitties, co-curriculums etc. Then, after a year, I had to leave. It was actually because of the promise I made to my dad that I would go to South Africa to study. So I left.
In the beginning, I used to miss everything about my school especially my friends. So, I wrote letters every now and then, phoned them when I came back for holidays and also visit them at school. Our friendship was strong then. But later, it started weakening. Everytime I phoned them, I can feel the distance and there was ackwardness between us. Why?
In the Madrasah that I was studying, we learned that boys and girls should not mingle with each other freely, we shouldn't talk to them unless necessary,and to have relationship with boys is totally against the Islamic teachings. All our ustadz said that we must try and give Da'wah to our friends as much as possible. So I was always trying to do that whenever I speak to them. But all they talk was about BOYS and CELLPHONES. At that very moment I thought " We are not at the same level anymore". However, I maintained good relationship with them for several months, then after their PMR and SPM though everything stopped, the memories stayed embedded in my mind. I was busy myself, and I'm sure they were too.
It's been 7 years since then, and now through Facebook (though i'm not a fan), I found most of them there. What can I say?
People DO change! It's okay to change if it's towards the better, but if it's from observing scarf to dispalying the hair, from songkok and kopiah on the head to a more-up-to date hair styles, from wearing baju melayu to stylish shirts and from baju kurung to short sleeves tops and pants?! Why do we change that way? We are Muslims, what is our identity?
When i ponder and reflects on my own condition,to Allah alone belongs all the gratitutes. I never thought that one day I'd be teaching in a madrasah, wearing a black jubah and observing purdah. This has never come across my mind before.I've always wanted to be a scientist, but now, I want to be a true muslimah and mu'minah and strive in the path of Allah and Islam.(though I still have a long way to go..) How Allah has changed my path of life! I don't know what would have become of me if I continued studying there, and where would have I been after my SPM.....But one thing I do know is, that if I have stayed in highschool then, I could not have learned my Deen. It is Allah alone who knows what's best for His servants. Allah is really really great!