Forgiveness: Its Something Extra Special!!!

Pernah tak bergaduh dengan adik? Ya, ADIK. Gaduh dengan adik ni lain sikit bagi saya. Kalau saya bergaduh or tak puas hati dengan kakak saya, senang je nak mengalah sebab hormat pada kakak yang lebih tua. Tapi kalau berselisih pendapat dengan adik, susah sikit nak mengalah, especially bila dia yang salah, kita nasihat dia tapi dia degil tak nak dengar dan tak nak ikut. Jadi kalau bergaduh tu....SUSAHnya Ya Allah nak minta maaf! ( but I really don't like fights). Sebagai seorang kakak, memang rasa nak beralah. Mungkin boleh cuba nasihat dia lain kali dengan cara lain. Tapi, disebabkan kita tak bersalah, dan kita lebih tua.......2 sebab utama saya rasa susah nak kata "I'M SORRY". 

Now, dapat pula adik yang ada 'strong character'. Miracle la kalau dia yang mengalah and say "I'M SORRY". Kesimpulannya, sorang degil sorang lagi ego. (oops!)

Tapi masa bulan Ramadhan, kita digalakkan berdoa' dan minta ampun pada Allah atas dosa-dosa kita yang lepas. Masa tengah doa tu, tiba-tiba teringat yang saya tak bercakap dengan adik saya dah lama. Saya rasa....agaknya Allah terima tak doa saya ni? Allah suruh kita jaga hubungan dengan Nya dan hubungan dengan manusia yang lain, apatah lagi keluarga sendiri. Hari demi hari, perasaan bersalah dan sedih makin menebal dalam hati. Sampai satu hari, saya betul-betul azam nak cari sesuautu yang boleh pecahkan ego saya ni. Cari punya cari, inilah dia...article yang saya terima dalam bentuk email bulan Ramadhan hari tu. Bila baca ni, saya pun "BAIK! Saya akan minta maaf (salah ke tak salah, itu belakang kira...) sebab, orang yang maafkan kesalahan orang lain, Allah akan tinggikan darjatnya...Jadi kalau saya tak salah, tapi saya minta maaf, maknanya...saya maafkan pihak yang lagi satu....Bacalah article ni, jadikan panduan untuk minta maaf atau memaafkan orang lain...

The Messenger of Allah Muhammad [Peace be upon him] is reported to have said:

" If one gives charity it does not diminish his wealth; if one forgives others, Allah bestows more honour on him; and if one humbles himself for Allah's sake, Allah exalts him higher." (Hadith-Muslim)

HANDY TIPS...

• Make dua[pray] For only Allah can reconcile hearts and differences
• Forgive- He who forgives is forgiven and Allah will elevate his status!
• Act- SMS[text], call, email etc or even better personally approach the person/s and ask them forgiveness.
• Remove Hatred-Don't hold any hatred in your heart. Hatred is the cancer of the heart and soul. It Destroys the Hater and Not the hated!
• It's a process- Remember, forgiveness is a process that takes time and patience to complete. You must be ready. Realize that forgiveness is for you - not for anyone else.
• Not Condoning- Realize that forgiving does not mean you are condoning the actions of the offender or what they did to you. It does mean that you will blame less and find a way to think differently about what happened to you.
• Refocus-Refocus on the positives in your life. A life well lived is the best revenge. People who find a way to see love, beauty and kindness around them are better able to forgive and get past their grievances.
• There is no such thing as an unforgivable act.So don't let your fear of what you did, or rage about what was done to you, dissuade you from either seeking or granting forgiveness.
• Stay balanced. The number of apologies you seek should be proportional to the number you are willing to offer, because the doing of each nurtures the capacity for the other.
• Know that you are never alone. Allah is always with you!
• Allow love to triumph over logic. There will always be a good reason to keep doing what you are doing or to withhold your forgiveness from someone else. But real issue is whether or not you love them enough to go beyond that logic.
• Keep it simple. Apologize for, or forgive, one thing at a time. There is always more to the story, but this is not the moment to explore it.
• Remember that forgiveness is not always the end of the process, but the beginning of a new level of relationship which may continue to be shaped into something very special
• Celebrate the moment of forgiveness by thanking Allah for giving you the opportunity to remove this burden off your shoulders. Give Sadaqah[charity] as it pleases Allah and removes Allah's anger.